I can’t get away from it. Every Mother’s Day, people wish me a happy Mother’s Day. Andy says they’re just saying it because they hope I have a nice day with my mother. The cynical side with me disagrees, and thinks that people assume, because I’m a woman, that I have a child. I wish people would stop their blanket wishes for a happy mother's day. Many women are not mothers. I am one of them.
Much to the chagrin of many people in my life, Andy and I have decided that we will not be having any children. While we were still dating, we talked about having kids. We said that we both wanted them, although I think that he wanted them more than I did. Soon after we married, though, we decided that kids weren’t something that either of us needed to have. We’ve been married now for 10 years, and we are very much decided that we are not going to have any kids, and I think we’re very happy with our decision.
There are some very specific reasons why I will not be a mother. Here they are.
Patience: I recently saw a father with his young son at Target. They were in the dollar section, and the boy was poring over a coloring book. Dad was patiently waiting and letting his son have his fun. I wouldn’t be that person. I’d probably be the mom you see who is rushing her kids through a store because there are more important things to do. Sometimes I might recognize that we have the time, or, they’re having a lot of fun browsing. But more often, I probably wouldn’t. I’m a better aunt than I am a mother.
Self: I am selfish. I want time to myself. I want a place that’s my own. I am pretty independent, and I can’t picture myself caring for children. I don’t want to have someone depending on me all of the time.
Nurture: I am not the nurturing type. I get frustrated with needy people. I am often heard telling people to suck it up. Get over it. A mother should not tell her kids this all the time. It’s true that kids need to learn to let certain things roll off their backs, but they also need a lot of nurturing that I am not able to give.
So to those who want me to have children, I’m sorry. It’s just not going to happen.